All essays
Newest first. Each one ends with its sources.
- Your worries are a map, not the territoryMuch of what we dread never happens. A simple mental model, and the research behind it, for checking your worst-case stories against real life.8 min read
- Why can't I say no? The people-pleaser's guideWhy saying no feels so risky, what the research says about being too available, and how to start without becoming the villain in anyone's story.8 min read
- Why avoiding what scares you makes anxiety worseAvoidance feels like relief but keeps the fear alive. How graded exposure works, what the research says, and when you need a trained therapist.10 min read
- Why your marriage feels like logistics and what helpsMost of your talk is school runs and bills, and you can't recall the last real conversation. Why marriages slide into admin, and one habit that helps.7 min read
- I know what to do and still don't do it. Why?Knowing what to do and still not doing it is not laziness. Here is what the research says is going on, and the small if-then trick that helps.8 min read
- How to make friends as an adult when you don't know howAdult friendship takes hours, not charm. What research says about how long it takes, why you're always the one reaching out, and a simple plan to start.9 min read
- Everyone my age is ahead of me and I feel like I wasted my 20sFeeling behind your peers is common, and the research on regret, comparison and adult change says the story you tell about your 20s is only half true.7 min read
- How to stop worrying about what you can't controlEpictetus split life into what is up to you and what isn't. Here is what that idea means for anxious days, what the research backs, and what it doesn't.8 min read
- Anxious or low? Check your body before your headFeeling anxious or flat but nothing is diagnosed? Check caffeine, sleep, movement and breathing first. What the research backs, and what it doesn't.10 min read